I was having a conversation last night with my 13 year old son. During which we discussed various topics from school to girls and pretty much everything else in between.
My boyfriend and I recently got him a cell phone, he has good grades, participates in group sports and for all intents and purposes is a pretty good kid all around with the exception of normal teenage stuff. That said, as we were chatting with one another my middle son comes up and asks, "Hey, Nate can I borrow your phone to call my dad?" he was permitted... It occurred to me that Nathon had not given his dad his new number, I asked if he wanted me to give his dad the number and he declined.
That kind of caught me off guard, so I asked well why is that? My son said, "I don't wanna talk to him, he does nothing for me and if he wants to talk to me he can call me his self."
To understand his sentiment, you would have to know that his dad was pretty much absent until my son was 5 years old and has really only been active in his life for the last couple years. I've never been one to bad mouth my ex's or say things that are unfavorable because I feel like my children will learn on their own, and this seems to be the case with Nathon. He has grown so used to empty promises and an absentee dad that he no longer wants to deal with it. I am not going to push the issue, nor will I try to sway him in any way because i truly feel like he is old enough to make that decision on his own.
Being a single parent is not an easy job by any means but in my own experience I have learned that sometimes it is better that the other party just stay away because coming in and out of a childs life in the end causes much confusion and resentment for children. My mom always said, "it's better to have one good parent, than to have two messed up ones that can't get along".
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